Waiting in Line


Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but; you know that three way corner going south on Canal after the light on Veterans’, just behind Beasley’s, across from that big, old house with the barn in back and additional parking for “God knows what”, ‘cause nothing seems to stick in that location, yeah, just before that annoying left turn up to Safeway.

That’s how we give directions in Redmond.

Anyway, we drive that way a lot and it gives us time to consider the intricacies of the corner folk when, as there is usually a cop car lurking down the way and we are nothing short of a travelling billboard, we come to a full stop at the sign

So, how does it work, have they run analytics, is there a graph depicting the revenue rate increase per hour with the inclusion of a dog? I mean what’s the metric; if I sit on the corner for an hour with a sign do I make minimum wage, allowing for a zero tax rate, I have probably only to take in 7 or 8 bucks.

Does look or style make an income difference, kind of “Dress for Success” in reverse; consider the focus of the print marketing campaign, do you go with the sincere “Thank You, God Bless” angle or play the “Disabled Vet” card, perhaps “Dog needs Food” or “Ran out of Gas”, although these probably net bags of dog chow or a lift to the nearest station rather than cash.

How about holding a pretend sign, is there a premium correlation for cleverness, sarcasm or hipness of message?

Please, I’m not unsympathetic to the plight of those made less fortunate by way of education, economy, just plain bad luck or poor choices made.

It’s my affliction, came wired that way, and shouldn’t take it personal. Struck me how the fella’ pulled up to the corner right on time last morning; had his Igloo cooler to keep the lunch cold and all, the only missing thing was a time clock to punch on the telephone pole. Seemed so workman like; a job of sorts, the equivalent of the 9 to 5 and as I waited to be the guy behind the next guy passing by, ….. I began to wonder.


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